Healing Through Haikus: How I used creativity to move through my grief

Years ago, when I was going through the most painful part of my divorce, I felt consumed by grief, anxiety, and fear of the unknown.  These heavy emotions  filled my headspace, and seemed to take over every part of my life.  My heart hurt from the loss of not seeing my kids as much, and I was overwhelmed with the realness of having to start my life over again.  When I was in the stickiest  part of my suffering, it seemed like there was no light at the end of the tunnel.  


I'm not sure how it happened, or even when it started, but through this messy life experience, I eventually leaned into creativity.  I've always loved to be creative, and even from an early age, I found understanding, peace and joy through creativity.  During my divorce and transition into single parenthood, I started writing haikus, and declared myself a poet!    
  

Haikus are a Japanese art form.  They are short little poems with only 3 lines.  The first line is 5 syllables, the second line is 7 syllables, and the third line is 5 syllables again.  What I loved about writing haikus is that it's simple, but not always easy.  There is structure and discipline required, in order to fit the 5-7-5 format.  Within that format there are endless possibilities, and an opportunity to say a lot with few words.  


Writing haikus became a mindfulness practice for me; something to keep me focused and present.  Whatever I was thinking, feeling, observing or experiencing at that moment, I would focus all of my attention on that "one thing."  This creative way of paying attention to my life, helped me dive deeper into what I was feeling and experiencing.  It was a way to digest my experiences, and process my emotions.  I stayed fully engaged with the subject during the writing process.  I would write poems about anything and everything; my grief, joy, anger, silliness, loneliness, empowerment, confusion, nature, yoga, art, healing, motherhood, life, death, simplicity, complexity....you name it, I wrote a poem about it!  This little creative project seemed to magically create itself.  It was not only fun, but gave my mind something healthy and productive to focus on.  
 

Ever-flowing art
Poems push out mental clutter
Freedom is revealed  

Overtime, my broken heart started to feel more like a healing heart.  I was letting myself feel everything there was to feel, even if it was challenging, but used it as fuel to create something positive and beautiful.  By bringing in creativity, it pushed out fear and anxiety from my thinking.  My mind became a healthier place in live in.  


Eventually, my haiku inspiration fizzed out.  I moved on to other creative projects, but will always have a love of words and poetry.  I look back on that experience and can now be grateful for my grit.  What I learned is that problems can become possibilities.  Our life lessons shape us, and keep shaping us.  What may feel like an ending to something, may actually be a beautiful, poetic beginning.    

Love affair with words 
An accidental poet 
My insides exposed



The fairy tales lied 
Princes don’t bring happiness 
I make it myself



Families that change
Once a square, now triangle
A new shape of LOVE



Choose your lens wisely
You are the eyes of the world 
HOW you see matters



Small, mighty acorn 
Endless potential to grow 
Keep watering dreams



Show up for sunsets 
As many as possible 
Each one, different 



Our life is a poem
And our story is written 
On how much we love



Kissing is like wine 
It gets better over time 
Now our lips are drunk



Big, hot ball of gas
Thank you for thawing us out 
It’s nice to see grass 



Steady discipline 
Everydayness is the key 
Practice, then repeat



Life can suck sometimes 
But SHIT’S fertilizer too
It can help us grow



Fear of missing joy 
Is there a way to stretch time?
Yes there is...presence 



Here’s her new smile 
Tooth Fairy collects her debt 
Pillow treasures comes



Broken and hopeless
My heart, a million pieces 
Self love is the glue



Invisible thread 
Our lives, woven together 
One big tapestry 



Longing to move slow 
A less caffeinated life 
Swallow sweet presence



Gambling with love 
Ready for another hand 
All my chips are in

Stay creative!

Be well,

Shannon